Self Compassion

Embracing Self-Compassion 

Do you find it easy to have compassion for others, while struggling with compassion for yourself? Well, you are not alone. I too have struggled with embracing Self-Compassion and would love to share with you a few ways that have helped me find more.   

But first…

What is Self Compassion? 

Self Compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness, love, respect, and tenderness as you would treat any other person in a difficult situation or time. Ultimately, turning what you give so freely to others inwardly—supporting, encouraging, and empowering yourself in times of need.  

Why is it important for our well-being?

Research indicates that self-compassion is strongly associated with psychological well-being [Neff, 2009]. Higher levels of self-compassion are linked to increased feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity, and connectedness, as well as decreased anxiety, depression, ruminating thoughts, and fear of failure.

When I began to focus my attention on myself and practiced Self-Compassion daily I noticed I felt more connected with my heart, mind, and soul. Joy increased in my life and the mundane became fun. 

Here are a few ways I practiced bringing Self-Compassion into my life.  Enjoy!

We will forget. We are human and we will absolutely forget.  Remember, this is a practice and like most things we begin, we fumble.  Enjoy being your perfectly imperfect self as you fumble to find what works for you as you incorporate Self-Compassion into your life. 

Forgiveness 

When we forget and are hard on ourselves… forgive, forgive, forgive.  As I mentioned before, we forget because we are human and this is a practice.  Forgiveness is easier said than done, but practice makes perfect and becomes easier over time.  If I forget I try repeating…“I forgive myself for not embracing compassion at this moment, when I remember I will treat myself with compassion.” Practice forgiveness. 

Speak with loving kindness

I often catch myself speaking very sternly and often quite meanly to myself, in a way I would never speak to another.I forget that there are parts of me that are still healing and need extra tenderness. When I catch myself in these moments I choose to speak with loving kindness as though I were a child or infant, who needs reassuring and kind words from a loving adult. This may seem strange at first, but it does work. Practice loving-kindness.   

Empathy 

We all experience emotions, but do we honestly take the time to be present with those emotions? Taking the time to be with your emotions and speaking to the vulnerable parts of yourself is an act of Self Compassion. Encourage naming the feelings present “It’s understandable that I am feeling this way _________.( inserting your feeling here eg. happy, sad, angry, frustrated.)  When we take time to explore the emotions present we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. This is called Empathy. Empathy equals more Self Compassion.  note: If being with your emotions on your own is too much, which it often can be in the beginning, remember there’s no shame in reaching out to a professional like a coach or counselor.   

Taking time for yourself

I used to spend so much time making sure everyone else was ok, that I was too tired to even think about taking care of myself.  Selfcare = Self Compassion. This means making sure you are doing things for yourself too, and the hardest part is, DO THEM FOR YOURSELF FIRST. Do the things you love, do the things that make you happy or bring you Joy. We can not give from an empty well so fill yours first.  My favorite activity is taking time to be in nature, especially near water.  What would your favorites be?           

Celebrate your wins

Hoorah for me.  When you find you have expressed Self-Compassion towards yourself, acknowledge this win by celebrating.  We are quick to judge ourselves and not so quick to reward ourselves.  Take the time to celebrate the wins in your life.No matter how small the act of Self-Compassion is, always celebrate. You are worth it.

Positive Affirmations 

I use affirmations daily to shift my mood, change outdated beliefs, and when I want to become a better version of myself. Regular repetition of affirming statements about yourself can encourage your brain to take these positive affirmations as fact. Retraining your brain to believe that you can do something, and eventually, your actions often follow.  Affirmations are a big part of incorporating Self Compassion into my life for eg. “May I accept myself as I am”, “I am a compassionate being worthy of love, acceptance, and joy.”, ‘I am perfect exactly as I am.”  ps. I LOVE- POST ITS  I use POST ITS with positive affirmations all over the house to remind myself of how perfectly imperfect I am. 

Write it down, journal it

Journaling has not been a big part of my journey but I do understand the importance of writing down what we are experiencing and feeling. Moving it from the mind to the paper can be a huge relief for some, others prefer a verbal release, so trying audio journaling might be a better fit if this is you. (this is me!)  This way we can hear or see what we are saying to ourselves, and take the time to rephrase and incorporate more compassionate speech into our life. Practice rephrasing negative thoughts. 

Practice, practice, practice

If you're anything like me some things don't come naturally at first.  The best way to make Self-Compassion part of our daily routine is to practice until it becomes second nature. This will inevitably and almost always include setbacks. The key, remember we’re practicing Self-Compassion. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about doing what you can. You're already perfect. 

And lastly…

Gratitude

Practicing Gratitude increases our feel-good hormones and who doesn't want to feel good?  Being Thankful for every little bit of our journey, recognizing that every phase has a purpose and every purpose has a meaning in our journey. Self Compassion brings deeper meaning. 

I hope you enjoyed reading about how I embrace Self Compassion in my life. I encourage you to have fun and enjoy exploring all the different ways you can embrace Self Compassion in your life. 

May you find the strength and courage to love yourself exactly as you are, because believe me …You are worth it.